How to talk to employees about their feelings
We are often afraid to talk about emotions at work, yet numerous reports show that we desperately need to. Are you a leader? Know that your employees primarily seek attentive presence and acceptance. Often, all it takes to provide valuable support is a conversation. This article offers guidance on how to prepare for it.
Why it’s important to talk about mental health at work
Each employee’s well-being affects both their performance and the overall workplace atmosphere. When emotions are never addressed in a company, teams fail to reach their full potential and individuals often feel isolated, tackling challenges alone. In such organizations, synergy is missing: tasks get done, but together, employees could achieve so much more.
Moreover, when a team member hides behind an “I’m fine” mask, they are not working from their full potential. They become less effective and engaged in their tasks. Lack of peer support also has economic consequences: unaddressed low mood can lead to employee turnover, long-term sick leaves, and unpredictable costs.
Conversely, in workplaces that allow open conversations about emotions, employees feel free to be themselves. This builds trust in managers and enables team members to use their talents and potential to fulfill their roles effectively. It is especially significant during moments of emotional difficulty. Employees easily lose self-esteem when feeling unwell, fearing to show vulnerability. In an open environment, they feel accepted by colleagues, which mitigates the inner critic’s impact. These elements create psychological safety, a key indicator of a healthy organizational culture, notes Sylwia Lewandowska. In such organizations, employees see themselves not only as human resources but as valuable parts of the entire ecosystem.
Common Employee Struggles
Every team member faces different challenges, yet the most common issues can be described as energy burnout, extending beyond work itself. “My clients report low energy, reduced life vitality, a lack of meaning in their tasks, low mood, anxiety, depressive states, feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities and pressure from superiors, racing thoughts, stress that disrupts sleep, and even digestive or cardiovascular issues. Work-life balance is completely disturbed. Add the effects of the pandemic — feelings of isolation from the team, limited interpersonal interactions, and the challenge of suddenly adapting a home space, once a sanctuary, into a workplace,” explains Sylwia Lewandowska.
These difficulties affect everyone. Yet without open discussions at work, employees feel alone in their struggles. Sharing experiences and offering support through listening is the most effective first step toward building a healthy organizational culture. Most employees primarily need acceptance that they are human and have off days. By understanding your team’s challenges and needs, you can introduce practices that help balance responsibilities between home and work.
The leader’s mental strength: how your emotional state impacts the team
Group energy reflects each member’s well-being and their chosen approach to challenges. Team members influence one another, often syncing with the dominant emotional tone. Emotional management skills—being fully mindful of your feelings, taking care of yourself, and analyzing your emotions—are extremely valuable.
As a leader, you play a dual role: both a team member and a guide. You set the rhythm and direction of development, and during crises, employees’ attention naturally turns to you. How you interact with colleagues and the conditions you create determine whether trust and safety can grow, enabling employees to be themselves.
Your emotional state shapes your leadership and directly affects team behavior. Leaders carry significant responsibility for managing their own emotions. Additionally, in hierarchical environments like workplaces, we tend to view psychological challenges similarly. In companies where emotions are not discussed, employees experience crises, believing they are alone and weak. Seeing a leader as psychologically strong can trigger the inner critic: “I’m weak; I’m the only one struggling.” In reality, we are all equal in facing psychological challenges. Exhaustion, burnout, and stress affect everyone, regardless of role or position. Therefore, open discussions about emotions and creating a human-centered work environment are crucial—not only when performance is high. “There’s a saying: ‘True friends are known in hardship.’ I say, we recognize true leaders in crises and how they navigate them, including mental crises,” adds Sylwia Lewandowska.
How to talk to employees about their emotions to provide support
As a leader, you might feel apprehensive about discussing mental health with your team. Initiating dialogue on such sensitive topics can feel like opening Pandora’s box. Sylwia Lewandowska emphasizes: “This concern is valid. Leaders are not expected to replace psychologists or therapists or assume full responsibility for an employee’s mental health. The goal is to expand leadership skills to sincerely show support and understanding, which may involve adjusting duties or goals.” The conversation is about presence and shared responsibility in creating a supportive environment.
Conversations serve both preventive and supportive roles during crises. Leaders should first assess their emotional capacity before meeting with an employee: How much can I handle? How much pressure can I take, personally and from the team, when things go wrong? During the discussion, ask questions while remaining responsible for the answers you receive.
Here are four tips from Sylwia Lewandowska to conduct thoughtful, supportive conversations:
1. Choose the right place and time.
The discussion may be emotional, so select a private setting, such as a room without windows. Timing matters too; check scheduled tasks for that day. Ideally, hold the conversation near the end of the workday, so neither party is forced to, for instance, give a presentation during an emotional discussion.
2. Ensure and/or request confidentiality.
Decide together with the employee whether anyone else should be included in the support circle, remembering that this can happen at any stage of the conversation.
3. Avoid being a savior; provide a sense of care.
When hearing about challenges, we often want to immediately help. Employees need to feel they are not alone. Listen attentively and ask: What’s happening? Do you need help? In what way? Don’t take away their agency; focus on being heard. Offer professional support if needed.
4. Give full attention to the employee.
Put away your phone, avoid checking emails, and focus entirely on your colleague. Distraction-free listening helps you understand them better and signals that their concerns matter. Simply expressing feelings to an engaged listener can prevent further emotional decline.
How to strengthen your mental well-being
Taking care of others’ emotions requires tending to your own. There are many methods; the key is to find what works best for you. The report Mental Strength and Energy of Leaders in the New Normal highlights practices managers use to maintain mental health. Here are some techniques:
- Walking, spending time in nature, or with animals
- Seeking support from family or friends
- Regular physical exercise
- Breathing exercises
- Stress relief through games, TV shows, or movies
- Meditation, yoga, relaxation, and massage
