{"id":4358,"date":"2025-10-13T21:08:19","date_gmt":"2025-10-13T19:08:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brainembassy.pl\/staging\/?p=4358"},"modified":"2025-10-14T18:07:53","modified_gmt":"2025-10-14T16:07:53","slug":"learn-the-7-rules-of-good-feedback-how-to-receive-and-give-feedback-at-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brainembassy.pl\/en\/blog\/learn-the-7-rules-of-good-feedback-how-to-receive-and-give-feedback-at-work\/","title":{"rendered":"Learn the 7 rules of good feedback"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

How to receive and give feedback at work? It is becoming increasingly talked about, but is it used as often? When done well, it can work wonders, providing a solid foundation for building a healthy workplace. So what can we do to overcome our fear of it and open ourselves up to the benefits it brings<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is feedback?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It is constructive feedback on another person’s behavior, both in professional and private life<\/strong>. It is a reaction \u2013 our reaction to the behavior of others and the environment to our actions. Dorota Bieli\u0144ska, business coach and psychologist, draws attention to the way feedback on another person’s behavior is communicated. It is important that after hearing feedback about their work, the recipient does not feel discouraged. Their attitude towards themselves and what they do should remain positive.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do we give feedback?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Feedback is for the recipient, not the sender. <\/strong>Therefore, it should be a gift that will help the other person develop in the area in question. <\/strong>The purpose of giving feedback is to help a friend or employee, not to get your way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Good feedback is a conversation!<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Since the purpose of giving feedback is to provide support, we should treat it as a conversation. Giving feedback without first asking for consent or checking whether we have been understood correctly reduces the chance of the other party’s development, not to mention their comfort. A gift that is forced upon someone ceases to be a gift!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, when giving feedback, always respond to the other person, giving them space to express their feelings.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Feedback from the world about us<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The feedback we receive is the result of our actions (present and past), thoughts, and things we have or have not done. The environment we surround ourselves with, our relationships, and our work are all feedback on our behavior. By being aware, we can look at specific elements and take 100% responsibility for our lives, without shame or guilt. The point is to understand that we can transform our behavior to continually develop. Asking ourselves helpful questions helps in this, for example: Does this work\/NOT work for me? What can I do to make it work for me?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What does feedback give us at work, and why is it worth using it in communication?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Feedback pushes us well beyond our comfort zone, but it is not a necessary evil; rather, it is something good for every employee and the entire company. Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we receive positive feedback, our motivation will increase. Along with it, we will derive greater satisfaction from work (and life!) and become more involved in the tasks entrusted to us. When we learn to accept constructive criticism, our drive to make changes will increase, allowing us to gain new skills and improve existing ones. <\/strong>What will this give us? Increased self-esteem and improved well-being. Really!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we learn how to give feedback effectively, our discomfort during conversations will definitely decrease. <\/strong>Opening the door to the room where the other person is waiting will no longer fill us with dread, and putting our emotions into words will become much easier.
The ability to give and receive feedback encourages us to reflect on ourselves and develop emotional intelligence. <\/strong>This makes us better colleagues, with whom others feel comfortable. If we are surrounded by like-minded people in a team, we will create a work environment with a high level of positive energy, where we trust each other. <\/strong>Working in such a company culture becomes more enjoyable \u2013 solving tasks comes more easily to us because we are not alone in them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why we don’t give feedback<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

As we can see, feedback helps us grow, but companies are still afraid to share it. What is holding us back?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. We are afraid that negative feedback will anger the other person.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cWe want to do good, but it turns out as always.\u201d The fear of our intentions being misinterpreted and the risk of stepping into a minefield causes us to keep quiet about many things. Wrongly so! Most often, it turns out that the recipient appreciates our commitment. If we are afraid of the other party’s reaction, we should take care of how we convey the feedback. The better we do it, the less likely the other party is to get angry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    1. Giving feedback is awkward and can ruin a relationship.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      We avoid situations that make us feel uncomfortable like the plague, and we don’t want to let our relationship with someone we have a lot in common with (professionally or privately) deteriorate. What is important here? Remembering that feedback is FOR THE RECIPIENT. If we check our intention and make sure that the recipient understands it correctly, the risk of damaging the relationship should be minimal. As for awkwardness, the best advice is to practice, practice, and practice some more. Let’s also remember that we can influence the comfort level of the conversation. Let’s think about what we need and what the recipient needs, and implement appropriate solutions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n
      1. Giving feedback is time-consuming.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        However, it is an investment, not a waste of time. Providing feedback develops our soft skills and allows our colleagues to grow, thus creating a favorable work environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          \n
        1. We fear economic consequences at work.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

          Blocked promotion or removal from interesting projects are some of the scenarios that may arise when thinking about giving negative feedback. If we fear such consequences, let’s first think about the source of these fears. Is it our uncertainty about our work, lack of experience in giving feedback, or perhaps the recipient’s behavior? Depending on the reason, let’s take appropriate steps to increase our comfort. Feedback is for the development of the other person and, consequently, the company. We want the best for the environment in which we work, so negative consequences should not hold us back. However, if the risk of unpleasant consequences is real, it is worth considering whether this is a workplace where we want to remain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \n
          1. We have difficulty experiencing emotions, managing them, and expressing what we feel.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

            Many of us suppress our feelings, especially when dealing with difficult ones. The result is that we remain silent in many situations or explode with emotion when the cup of bitterness finally overflows. This behavior strategy is deeply rooted in us, so it is difficult to break. However, if we want to strive for positive change, it is worth starting to manage our emotions. Emotional intelligence is a skill that will allow us to respond to many events in a much calmer way.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Giving and receiving feedback<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

            Sharing and listening to feedback are equally important. They go hand in hand! When searching the Internet, we mainly find information about giving feedback, but let’s remember that receiving feedback also allows us to grow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Feedback as a gift? How to accept constructive criticism<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

            Feedback is for us, not for the sender, so we will benefit much more if we treat it as a gift.<\/strong> Of course, this is provided that the gift is suitable for us and we have given our prior consent to receive it. What will we do with the gift? That’s up to us. We can hide it at the bottom of the closet and never look at it again, or we can start using it to learn something useful about ourselves. The feedback we receive is information about our behavior and a guide on what to do to work on ourselves, improve our relationships with others, and take care of our well-being.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

            When receiving feedback, it is worth mentioning two issues. The first is the Johari Window, a psychological tool for better understanding ourselves and our relationships with others.<\/strong> It is divided into four areas:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Open area – ARENA – I know and others know
            Hidden area – FACADE – only I know
            Blind area – BLIND SPOT – only others know
            Unknown area – BLACK HOLE – none of us know<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            ARENA is an area of information that we want to share with others, while in FASADA we hide what is completely inaccessible to others. These are two spaces over which we have control \u2013 BLIND SPOT and BLACK HOLE are collections that remain outside our consciousness. However, when we receive feedback, information from the BLIND SPOT travels to the ARENA. The unknown area shrinks, and we have the opportunity to get to know ourselves better and see our behavior through the eyes of others<\/strong>. Thus, our self-awareness grows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            The second issue is triggers that can be activated when receiving constructive criticism. When this happens, embarrassment forces us to defend ourselves by attacking or withdrawing. These triggers are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Truth triggers \u2192 <\/strong>relate to the content of feedback. In this case, it is worth understanding the purpose (help, appreciation, etc.) of the feedback and your expectations regarding it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Relationship triggers \u2192 <\/strong>here, who is giving us the feedback is more important than the subject of the feedback. How do we feel about this person? If there are problem areas in our relationship, it is worth separating the information conveyed from the emotions that the other person arouses in us.Identity triggers \u2192<\/strong> in this case, it is not about the feedback or the sender. WE are important. Each of us sometimes loses ourselves in our own identity \u2013 it is crucial to look at the information provided objectively and calmly organize it in our minds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

            When to give feedback?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

            Feedback is best given on an ongoing basis, i.e., immediately after a situation has occurred. Feedback is like food. The longer we wait, the greater the chance that it will expire. However, remember that:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              \n
            • if we are emotional, we should let ourselves cool down first,<\/li>\n\n\n\n
            • If it is a difficult task for us and we like to postpone such challenges, we should signal to the recipient that we want to talk, so that we cannot back out.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

              7 rules for good feedback<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

              Several rules will make our feedback even more beneficial to both parties. It is worth applying to them if we want to help the recipient (and we assume that this is the case) and if we are interested in developing in this area.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                \n
              1. Feedback is a gift \u2192 <\/strong>if forced, it ceases to be one!<\/li>\n\n\n\n
              2. Feedback is for the other person, not for us \u2192 <\/strong>the intention behind giving feedback is to help the recipient grow.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
              3. The goal should not stem from our ego \u2192  <\/strong>let us not be guided by stubbornness (\u201cthis is how it should be, period\u201d), but by the desire to share our perspective.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
              4. The more specific, the better \u2192 <\/strong>sharing feedback is not an opportunity to throw out everything that comes to mind. This will most likely overwhelm the other person! Let’s cite specific situations and not repeat the same messages in different ways.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
              5. Feedback is about the other person’s behavior, not about them \u2192<\/strong> we do not judge the other person, nor do we make assumptions about them, we only talk about our feelings about their behavior.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
              6. Justification is key to success \u2192 <\/strong>it reduces the chance of misunderstanding and helps the recipient better accept what we have to say. If they receive arguments that resonate with them, they will be more inclined to take steps towards change.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
              7. Feedback is a conversation \u2192 <\/strong>let’s listen to the other side and give them space to speak.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

                How to share feedback?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
                  \n
                1. Practice the conversation with someone else, especially if sharing feedback makes you uncomfortable.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
                2. Make sure you have a discreet space in advance. Feedback should be shared face-to-face, without third parties.<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
                3. Before the meeting, think about the intention and purpose of giving feedback. What is our motivation?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
                4. Very important: ask for permission to give feedback.<\/strong> Unwanted feedback is unlikely to reach the recipient and will get stuck somewhere in between.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
                5. The other party may have a completely different perspective on the situation. It is therefore good to be aware of communication \u201cnoise\u201d when sharing your proposed strategy, but without pushing for it to be chosen. Let the recipient have the freedom to choose, taking from our statement what serves them best.<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
                6. Let’s start giving feedback with the simplest points, observing the other party’s reaction. In this type of conversation, the rule of moving from the general to the specific works well.<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
                7. Remember to refer to the purpose of the conversation and justify your statement in its context.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
                8. Check whether the recipient understands you correctly<\/strong>. It is worth asking how they interpret your words and how they relate to the information you are conveying.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
                9. Let’s respond on an ongoing basis!<\/strong> Let’s listen to the other party, try to speak attentively, choose the right words, and adjust the pace.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
                10. When talking about behavior, let’s use the words \u201cless\u201d or \u201cmore\u201d instead of \u2018yes\u2019 or \u201cno,\u201d <\/strong>which can close the conversation and give the impression of an order.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
                11. Let’s use \u201cI\u201d statements.<\/strong> The point is not to guess what the other person means, not to put words in their mouth, but simply to talk about our own perspective.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
                12. Avoid <\/strong>communication barriers, such as ordering, instructing, warning, threatening, moralizing, preaching, or giving good advice.<\/strong> Barriers tend to transform our message and it reaches the recipient in a different form than we would like.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n
                  \"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

                  Good feedback \u2013 examples<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

                  Kasia, this is the third time you have been late for the team meeting without any prior notice.  This disrupts the meeting because we wait for you to start, and we all value our time. Please arrive on time and let me know in advance if you are going to be late. Okay?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

                  Tom, the documents you gave me contained errors for the second time. This prolongs the process of submitting them, thus risking missing the deadline, which may cause dissatisfaction at company X. Please check the documents three times before sending them. If you don’t have time for that, let me know, and I will try to extend the deadline, or we will work out another solution together. Can we agree on that?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

                  Your graphic designs are receiving very good feedback from the client, and I myself am more satisfied with them. You have not only improved your graphic design skills, but also listen carefully to comments and implement them immediately. You also avoid mistakes from the past. This makes the client trust us more and more and consider expanding the scope of the contract. I want you to know that I see and appreciate your contribution to the work. You are an important person in the team, thank you.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

                  A method for effective employee feedback<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

                  A popular and proven tactic for feedback is the FUKO model. According to this model, well-constructed feedback should consist of FACTS + EVALUATION + CONSEQUENCES + EXPECTATIONS<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                  However, these components must be tailored to the recipient. We will address a new person in the team differently from a close colleague.<\/strong> When we know someone well, instead of evaluation and consequences, we can share our feelings and needs. We should also remember that the middle points (evaluation, consequences, feelings, or needs) are not mandatory in a statement. Sometimes, evaluation can be treated as an attack, the effects will be obvious, and sharing needs will not significantly affect the outcome. However, we should assess this on an individual basis. The most important, constant points should be facts, expectations, and asking for consent (\u201cCan we agree on this?\u201d).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                  There are other methods of giving feedback, but FUKO and the above-mentioned principles are entirely sufficient, especially if we are just starting. As we develop our skills, we can expand our knowledge by looking for other strategies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                  Finally, we have an appeal: let’s spread positive feedback. Whenever we have the opportunity, let’s praise the other person for a job well done!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                  Feedback. It is becoming increasingly talked about, but is it used as often? When done well, it can work wonders, providing a solid foundation for building a healthy workplace. So what can we do to overcome our fear of it and open ourselves up to the benefits it brings<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4344,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4358","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-community"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nFeedback \u2013 how to give and receive it?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Feedback is a great opportunity for development for both, the recipient and the sender. Especially if it is done well! 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